


Agape, Lead Me Home

by ferric



Series: Complicated [3]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M, so gen it hurts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-08-23 17:57:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8337307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ferric/pseuds/ferric
Summary: Yuri reluctantly returned to Hasetsu after his flight was canceled.





	

Yuri hated Japan. So much. No, it wasn’t because he lost to Yuuri Katsuki or anything. And no, it wasn’t because Victor abandoned him. He was stronger than that—he wouldn’t cry over one loss and he certainly wouldn’t cry over being abandoned—there was no point because he was used to that—being left behind.

He lost. He wasn’t enough. So he was cast off. It was simple. It was a fact, undisputable.

But why did it hurt so much?

Oh fuck he wasn’t supposed to dwell on it too much. _Fuck_.  

The ringing of his phone startled Yuri just enough for him to remember that he was nearly in tears at a public place, of all things, and Yuri took a breath to calm himself. Fuck. This was stupid. He was being stupid. Just…this day had been all wrong and this place was all wrong and coming to this country was a horrible idea; nothing good came out of this trip. _God_ , he just wanted—

“Hello?” Yuri picked up his phone, not bothering to hide his irritation. He felt like shit, and the fact that his flight was canceled due to weather didn’t make him feel any better—what the fuck, it was sunny ten minutes ago, stupid weather. Stupid country. He shouldn’t have come.

“Hello? Yurio?” The voice that Yuri wanted to hear the least decided to grace his presence today. Great.

“What do you want?”

“I didn’t get a chance to thank you for helping me out with the salchow,” said Yuuri. “You left before I could.”

“I wasn’t going to miss my flight to wait for your silly thank you,” Yuri said. “Is that it?”

“Well…yes.” Yuuri sounded like he wanted to say more, but decided not to, and Yuri strangely felt loss and regret all at once. “Have a safe flight!”

Yuri panicked. This was his last chance.

“Wait!”

***

***

***

Yuri hated how self-conscious he felt when he returned to Hasetsu, especially since that woman from the ice skating rink—Yuko—came to pick him up. He was glad that she didn’t comment on how he was back so soon, thank god for that. Instead, he spent the entire way back to Yuuri’s place trying to get a grip of his embarrassment.      

He worked hard on that cool exit, and now it was all wasted.

It was pretty annoying how nice Yuuri was about all this, and he couldn’t help but feel irritated that Yuuri had the spare room cleaned up and ready for him again.

“Let me know if you need anything,” Yuuri had said, and the exhaustion and disappointment and horrible feeling of being abandoned rushed back, burning the back of his eyes and stinging his nose.

“I don’t need anything,” Yuri scowled. “Not from you. Not from Victor. Not from this stupid place.”

There was a heavy silence at that. Yuri instantly regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth, but he knew that once you fell on the ice, there was no going back. He wasn’t good with people, and recently, it seemed that he wasn’t good at skating either.

Yuri braced himself for it—the inevitable rejection.

A gentle hand on his shoulder startled him. Yuri glanced up to meet kind eyes brimming with understanding.

“Hey,” Yuuri said. “Let’s go eat, alright?”

Yuri lost his ability to string words together into a sentence. “Why?” was all he could manage. He didn’t even fully know what he was asking.

“Because I know a thing or two about how painful it is not being able to give your best performance,” said Yuuri. “And from my experience, nothing fixes that better than good food and good company.”

Yuri didn’t reply because he could not trust himself to hold back his tears. He was choked up with the memory of his grandfather, of a failed national junior championship, of a hand so warm that he swore he could feel the heat through their gloves, of a warm bowl of solyanka given with a sweet smile.

Of _home_.

When Yuri felt mostly calm again, Yuuri let out a sigh and said, “You know, if you hate this place so much, you can return that sweater and—”

Yuri clutched his hand protectively over his beautiful, classy tiger sweater. “No! I paid for it. It’s mine now. I’m not giving it up, ever!”

Yuuri’s lips quirked up in a smile, and he was definitely laughing at Yuri with his eyes, the bastard.

Yuuri’s mom looked genuinely excited that Yuri was joining them for the night, and Victor was—well—drunk as usual but also excited. Yuko’s family and Yuuri’s ballet teacher joined them too, and before he could have a chance to catch up to speed with what was going on, he was pushed to sit in between Victor and Yuuri, a katsudon bowl was placed in front of him, a sake cup was shoved into his hands by Victor and yanked out of his hands by Yuuri, and literally everyone congratulated him on a job well done skating today. It wasn’t as bad as Yuri was expecting—he wasn’t sure why he thought he would be rejected because everyone here was kind and they wouldn’t let him be stranded on his own.

“I really enjoyed your interpretation of agape today,” Yuuri said. “You’ve grown.”

Yuri blinked. Words shimmered inside him. “You did—”

“The best I’ve ever seen you skate so far.” Victor said, patting Yuri’s back. “Good job, little kitty.”

Their words filled up a hollowness that he didn’t notice was carving its way through his chest until this moment. Suddenly, he was gripped with the realization that he didn’t want to miss this opportunity. Today, he understood that there were still so much he had to learn regarding skating and regarding himself, but—

“I like your eros,” Yuri mumbled. It wasn’t nearly close to what he wanted to express, but it was a start.

Yuuri smiled, and Victor had the gall to look shocked as if he couldn’t believe that Yuri would do such an honest and polite thing. It was a strange sort of victory, knowing that he could still surprise Victor.

The loss he felt today suddenly didn’t feel too bad anymore. The katsudon was beginning to feel more familiar.

“How is it?” Yuuri asked him.

It wasn’t the same. He was far from home, these people weren’t his grandfather, and this wasn’t the food of his beloved past memory, but….

“It’s warm,” Yuri said, and shoved a piece of pork into his mouth before Yuuri could ask him what it meant.

It was still a memory to be cherished.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> just watched ep 3. i have unresolved yuri feels. forgive me this is not as inspired as the other fics lol. i've been working since 5 am and i need sleep.


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